Sunday, December 15, 2013

Let's get this party started!

After years of keeping sooo much to myself, I've decided to stop being a coward and stop hiding all my (self-described) phenomenal wit, humor and rage from the world.  No more will my whimsical parenting stories, brilliant advice on life, love and shoes, top 10 lists and lunatic rants be just for my family, friends and diary!!

Admittedly I have no idea if anyone will find my family, or our misadventures entertaining but I give up giving a crap.  I love writing about all the fails of parenthood I experience, the random things my kids say… and eat… and wear, the outrageously entertaining and disturbing things I find on the internet, stupid things people say and or do and even occasionally something my hubby does (like asking if I can refer to him as The Captain from now on).

I've got 3 fabulously talented, precocious and devious children who challenge my sanity and morality every single day.  I love that they frustrate and charm me, because I am raising them to be tough-ass ingenious nerds who know how to cook, fold towels, two-step, balance a check book, dance in the rain and love with all their hearts.  My hubby (NO, I am not calling him The Captain) and I have been working on this marriage thing for 13 years already (wow… 13 years, really, already?) and we are the first to admit that our life is messy and at time very complicated, but worth every single moment!

Parenthood is a continues ride of ups and downs.  There are those days where I get my ass handed to me and then the days I think I could have 5 more kids (of course then the insanity passes).  I am not going to wind any mommy of the year awards (yet), I still have a long way to go to be the parent I really want to be and as a mom with a job outside of the house I walk a tightrope, juggling bowling balls every day and some days there are tears and screaming and more yelling than I care for and some days I drink too much (even vodka taste good with Starbucks!) and some days I would rather be in bed with my chickens (yes I call my kids chickens) watching hours of Netflix than doing anything else.

Ahh, my chickens… they are my 3 most favorite people in the whole world that are not old enough to drink with me yet.  J-Bird is my oldest.  She is 15 and reminds me way too much of myself at that age.  I adore her and envy her youth and spark (even if she doesn't this she has one).  She loves her friends, but will tell you she hates people.  Bubba is my darling boy.  At 11 (just a few weeks away from the last year of his childhood actually) he is my baby boy.  He started middle school this year, leading to a few new grey hairs on my head.  He has a passion for video games (even writes a blog about the games he likes), computers and an obsession with YouTube.  He likes it when I let him cook dinner and has incredible patients and the biggest hear of anyone I've ever known.  T-Dog is the baby.  At 8 years old she is a full blown Diva.  Don’t let the sweet smile and puppy dog eyes fool you, she can and will eat you alive.  She is most certainly all sugar and spice with a healthy dose of sass thrown-in for good measure.  My chickens are already ½ grown and I know I've missed plenty of opportunities to give them more than what I did, but it’s never too late in my optimistic mind.  I am determined to teach my kids about real life, the real world, with all its beauty, color, passion, sadness, disappointment, messiness, culture, humor, rage and fear.   I am determined to help them stay kids for as long as possible; hubby and I both had to grow up way to fast – and it sucked.  I am mom and I say they can take their time growing up.  My kids are not spoiled or babied or pampered.  Their childhoods have not been perfect by any stretch of the imagination up to this point and they will all probably need therapy someday, but at least they will be able to say they had childhoods.

This is going to be a fun adventure for me – for my family, sharing our slightly off balanced life with the world.  My two passions writing and motherhood collide!  Hold on tight Chickens – Here We Go!

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