Sunday, January 25, 2015

Would you like some Cheese with your Whine

This week I am linking up with More than Cheese and Beer for Sunday Confession.  This weeks prompt is Whine.



Dear Self,

Please stop your whining.

Your life sucks, I get it.

Your hate your job, your house, your car, your friends and your family.

I've listened to you whine about your clothes, your hair, your body and your health.

You've whined about your relationships, your past, your future, your lack of a life.

There isn't much in fact that you have not whined about.

Here’s the deal though…

You need to stop whining and DO SOMETHING about all the things that have you so unhappy, so stuck in whine mood.

It’s okay to be unsatisfied with your life… this is what should fuel growth and inspire change.  Don’t just accept the way things are and live in that misery…


IT’S TIME TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Turn that Frown Upside Down!!


I was in a real sour mood all day yesterday, nothing was going the way that I wanted it to go. I was feeling as though I might suffocate from all the negativity that was around me. 
So instead of focusing on all the negative I seemed to be swimming in, I chose to focus on finding some positive!
Sometimes finding positive can be really hard when even the air you breathe seems to be full of negative. 
Searching for positive can be like walking against the current of a fast moving river. 
It takes work to find the positive that will change the energy around you.  
Well yesterday when I was trying to find positive things to focus on the song “My Favorite Things” from the Sound Of Music kept popping into my head.  It was as though the universe was pointing in me the direction that I should be heading, to find the positive I needed.
I think sometimes we (or maybe just me) forget about the little things that make us smile or warms our heart. Our favorite little things that can make a frown turn upside down by their mere existence. 
Favorite things are all those positive little things that keep the joy in our hearts, even on sour days when negative seems to be everywhere… if we just remember to look for them.  I decided to take a minute and make a list, a reminder list of some of my favorite things, as a way to drowned myself in positive… and it worked, I was in such a better mood after I wrote this list!!  So I am going to share my list… to spread the happy positive thoughts I created!!

Here are some of My Favorite Things
·         The smell of fresh cut flowers or fresh cut grass
·         Strawberry Banana Shakes from Steak’n’Shake
·         The teeny tiny cuteness of baby feet
·         Towels fresh out of the dryer, soft and fluffy
·         Christmas Morning
·         The Denver Bronco’s (Forever Blue and Orange)
·         Snow Capped Mountains
·         Pumpkin Patches
·         A good strong cup of coffee
·         A field of Sunflowers in full bloom on a summer morning
·         The sound of kids laughing
·         Falling asleep next to my husband
·         Justin Timberlake (either singing or acting)
·         Watching Pitch Perfect (can’t help it, it is joy to me)
·         A tall glass of Ice Tea with fresh lemon
·         Pear and Grapefruit flavored Jelly Belly’s
·         Watching Fireworks
·         Reading a good book in a comfy chair
·         Fresh squeezed Lemonade
·         Coffee date with Boobs (that’s my BFF!!)
·         Grape Jolly Ranchers
·         Soft cushy slippers
·         Hot bubble baths
·         Owls
·         Shoes of all kinds
·         Snuggling with my kids
·         Almond Joy candy bars
·         My Mom’s Carrot Cake
·         A warm oversized hoodie on a cool fall evening
·         UGGS
·         Tea Cup Pigs
·         Kittens
·         Camp Fires
·         Rainy Fall Days in my hometown
·         When the Aspens start to change
·         Strawberries
·         Going to a Colorado Rockies Baseball Game
·         A night out with my friends
·         Playing shuffle board
·         Hot Apple Cider and Cinnamon Whisky
·         Going to a concert (any music will do)
·         Disney World
·         Marathons of my favorite TV Shows
·         Homemade Guacamole
·         Anthony Bourdain
·         Vail Colorado in the Summer time
·         Family dinners
·         Effarins Chicken Chimichanga with salad
·         Fighter Jets (YES, REALLY)
·         Erie’s Homecoming Parade
·         Yarn (balls and balls of yarn)
·         A sweet potato with caramel sauce and marshmallows from Texas Road House
·         Taking pictures
·         A new purse or handbag
·         Library’s
·         A cozy corner in a book store
·         Taking my kids to a book store
·         Shopping with my daughters
·         Tulips and Daisy’s together
·         Dancing while cleaning the house
·         The way I feel after I get a mani/pedi
·         Watching the Olympics
·         The smell of fresh rain
·         Friday Night Football Games
·         Shopping, any kind of shopping
·         Craft Shows


It is amazing how much better I felt after writing this list… and I felt like I could keep listing things. 
You never realize the kind of things that make you happy, bring joy and positive energy to you, and until you sit down to make a list! 
All that negative I was feeling yesterday just melted away with each favorite thing I wrote down. 

It was such a great feeling to all but demolish all the negative I was chained to and find the positive energy I needed to have a better day!

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Regret

I feel as though I've lived several lifetimes, all within this one life.  Each has had its own ups and downs, its own story lines, its own characters. Each one of these life times have taught me its own set of lessons, given me its own set of memories and its own unique experiences.
Each life time has also come with its own potential regrets.  I use the word potential because truth to told... 
I have no regrets.  Are there things to regret?  Yes, of course there... let me explain...

Each step I've taken, each choice I've made, each direction I've turned has led me to the place I am at today.  My life is not perfect, there is still plenty of work to be done... but I like who I have become so far and this in-progress journey has given me my children, my husband the flawed but powerful and beautiful relationship we have. 
The paths I have followed, the life times I have lived this far, they have taught me and molded me.  I know that I have not always made the right choices.  I have reacted to life in immature and irrational ways far too often.
I've walked the wrong paths.  I've denied myself choices that seemed selfish but could have been empowering.  I have lied to advance myself.  
There are far more things I could regret than I care to admit... but I chose not to harbor regret.  It is not that I don't feel bad about my poor behavior or amiss decisions.  
I have spent years working on finding forgiveness for myself and understanding that the past can't be changed, regret changes nothing.
Regret weighs on a heart.  Regret weighs on a soul.  
Regret leaves a person tethered to an unchangeable past.
I cannot change my past.  I don't have the ability to alter choices already made.  Regretting the choices made only keeps me in a past that was unhealthy and destructive and only breeds harm and despair.  
Regret is a prison to me, a constant reminder of failures and faults that con not be altered and I refuse to be a prisoner to things I cannot change.
So instead of regretting all there is to regret... I forgive and let go.  This is my choice, a choice I am confident and secure with, a choice that allows me to say I have no regrets... and know it is the truth.


Friday, January 9, 2015

Substance is Coming


I currently have 4 different pieces that I am writing... and yet I have nothing ready to post tonight... 
Go figure.  
Its okay thought, right?!?!
I mean, I am writing, I am working on putting together pieces with substance and girth and not just random ramblings from my mind to feed my desire to post to my blog on a daily bases.
I want substance.
I want to share cohesive thoughts.
I want to write pieces that people actually want to read.
I want to draw people to my blog.
I want to share real emotions.
I want to share real thoughts, real opinions.
It is not enough anymore for me to just write something every day... no I need to write real pieces every day.  
I need to actually write an "article" (because I don't know what else to call it) and not just put a bunch of words together and hope it makes enough sense for people to want to read it. 
I have far too many opinions, far too many stories and issues that stir emotion in me to not write things full of all that I have to offer.


So tonight is the last night I write some random ramblings... tomorrow I give you substance!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Because I did not know what else to write... Random Thoughts

I was not going to write tonight.  I was just going to take the night off and go to bed and work on a piece with some substance for tomorrow.  I tried to lay down and go to sleep.  It did not work.  I was laying here and all I could think about was how I did not write something today and I told myself I would write every day.  So here I am... So... some random thoughts...

1. It is going to drop below 30 degrees here... that might not be cold for the rest of the country, but I live in south Texas... that is cold.  It is the kind of cold that has been the main topic on the news for days and will probably lead to extended news coverage troughout the day tomorrow.  Growing up in Colorado I have felt -30 degree weather... I know cold... but I live in south Texas... were it does not get cold, so when they start talking about hard freezes... I pay attention.

2. The Hubby came home from soccer practice SOAR.  He needed T-Dog to help him get out of the car.  I am so proud that he is doing something new and good for him... he is however figuring out fast that he is not 20 something anymore, that his 30 something body is not what it used to be and does not move like it used to.  I love my middle aged, slightly overweight husband and the effort he is putting forth to do something good for himself. I should use him as motivation.

3. I am saddened by the news of the terrorist attack in Paris France today.  I hate that we live in a world where people are targeted because they share their opinions.  It is a sad, sad fact that you don't know where you are safe anymore.  I hate terrorist, don't they get that they are a bunch of hypocritical fools who attack innocent people for having the same freedom of belief as they do.  I don't understand the radical thinking of terrorist, no matter what God/Leader they follow.

4. I need a life.  Really... all I have been doing lately is eating and watching Netflix.  I need to get out of the house, I need to get more active again... I need a manicure.  I need a friend I can go have coffee with.  I need to join a book club or a crochet club.  My lack of social interaction outside of my home is starting to wear on me.  I miss having friends (they all still live in Colorado).  I need a job outside of my house.  I need a life.

Okay... I think I have gotten my writing for the day out of me and now I can go to bed!!





Tuesday, January 6, 2015

The Hubby is currently lying in bed with an athletic cup on

This is an Athletic Cup and underwear
The Hubby is currently lying in bed with an athletic cup on... 

Yep, you read that right... Yes folks, this is my marriage!

I find it humorous really. 

The Hubby is taking up playing indoor soccer with a bunch of guys from work, something he has never done before and they have made him the goalie... so he feels he needs an athletic cup... Got to protect the manhood at all costs. I am laying here watching him slapping and knocking on his protective gear.  
I cannot help but giggle... all be it a little annoyed that he is finding a piece of plastic so entertaining... but there is joy in the fact that I am married to a man who has humor.
The Hubby's sense of humor is one of the sexiest things about him.  
His humor brings a level of youth to our marriage that is refreshing and fun and I love it.  
His humor, although very often totally inappropriate is the light in my day some times.  
He always seems to know just when I need to laugh and relax and well... comes to bed with an athletic cup on.
It is easy to love a man who makes me laugh every day, who knows just when a joke will make the world brighter and who can relax and enjoy himself even after a day of work and all the stresses of life.
It is this sense of humor, this joy that radiates from him in the form of jokes and goofy behavior that has made the last 15 years seem like a blip in time and makes me so thankful, so very grateful that he is my partner in this life.
I might be lying in bed next to a man who is absolutely enthralled with his athletic cup... but I am totally okay with that,  because I think he is the most charming and funny man alive.




Monday, January 5, 2015

I Have A Reason for My Resolution

There are actual reasons for why I made one of my New Year’s Resolutions to write something on my Blog every day. 
 I know, can you imagine, actual reasons for a resolution!



Writing is important to me... it is the outlet for the voices that are a constant in my head.  I make myself sound down right nuts... I am not. The voices are not those of a crazy person... just a person with a lot of thoughts, and an abundance of anxiety and maybe even a soul's worth of wisdom.
  
Writing is my way of getting my voices heard... and to maybe, just maybe finally work through emotions and feelings that I have spent a life time trying to avoid.  I don't do feelings, I have even wrote about how much I rather hate feeling things.  It is not healthy to not feel, I know this... I have thousands of dollars’ worth of therapy sessions to show for how much I know about avoidance and emotions.

I have to let out what I feel.  I cannot go through my life any longer refusing to deal with emotions, refusing to deal with feelings and issues that bring up emotions and feelings.  

So if I have to start to feel, then I need to write... writing helps me feel.  So if I need to write to deal with the feelings... what better resolution than to say I am going to post something to my blog every day.  This puts me in a place where I have to find something to write about... and as I write, feelings start to come out and I start to deal with things.  

My often irrational brain is always looking for the rational reason for doing everything that I do.  I have to put a rational thought behind feeling, since I really don't like to feel and don't often do it willingly.  I love to write, I feel free when I write, writing is safe for me, so my irrational brain gets that writing is a safe way for me to let feelings out.

It's not easy to feel for me... I am great at avoiding it.  It is not easy for me to commit to writing every day, I've tried before and failed.  This is truly a challenge for me, to take the time to put thoughts into words that make sense and open myself up to feelings... everyday.  I may fail... I may only last a week, or a month... I don't want to fail though.  

Being a writer is my dream and the only way I can really become a writer is to write and let others read it.  My best source of content is from within, you know all those feelings I try to avoid.  It is time to marry the two and start to achieve this goal to become a writer... all while getting these feelings and emotions I keep bottled up out.
  
See, I totally have a reason for this New Year’s Resolution.