I've made this decision to recommit myself to becoming an accomplished Blogger. I've let go (I am letting go) of the idea that I am not going to be one of the funny "mommy" blogger's. It is not that I am not a funny person - because I am a freaking riot - but it's not my life and it's not my writing style and it's not what's in my heart.
I have to stop trying to make myself something I am not, and embrace what I am. I am a writer of life and opinion and self. Of course I want to make people laugh and draw an audience with humor, but as is apparent from the lack of posts on my blog, I have not been successful with the humor thing so far.
My reality, my "real life" is messy and complicated and some times down right ugly. I am extremely opinionated ~ almost to a point where I think I might actually be judgement rather than just opinionated (but that is for another post). I scream, I yell, I swear and break down and I cry... and find little humor in all of this some times. I do however always feel inspired to share the mess that is my life, so I need to share in the truest form and not in some forced form of humor.
Letting go of the perception that I could write my ugly, complicated, drama riddled life in a comedic way is leaving me feeling very exposed and variable. Showing people the layers of my life in a raw and honest way is frighting. To take the fluffy humor out of my writing and leave the realness of reality leaves me exposed to the world ~ Naked and Exposed. I am not comfortable naked, I have way to many flaws to feel comfortable. I can not let this hold me back though. I can not be the only person in this great big world living a ugly, complicated, drama riddled life.
My heart demands that I share, that I write ~ Naked and Exposed if I must, with all my flaws and faults glaring for the world to see. I need to believe, my soul demands that I see that what I write might actually be important to someone, it might inspire someone, it might even save someone.
I have a skill, a talent, that can move people, that can educate people that can bring joy, tears, memories and emotions.
My words, in whatever format I chose to share them can and will bring something to this world, some how. As variable as I feel, I know this is the right direction to be moving in. It is time to tear down my walls and give what I have to give, to feed my dream and write toward my future.