Tuesday, February 3, 2015

The Teeter-Totter Lesson

Remember when you were a kid and you and your friends would try to get the teeter-totter to balance perfectly even by putting even amounts of weight on each side?  Who knew that seeming innocent playground activity was actually teaching all of us the difficulty in finding balance in our lives.

You would think that at this point in my life I would have a better grasp of how to balance it all… yet I struggle – every day – with finding balance in my life.  It is not just the balance between work and family either.  There is this ever present struggle to find a balance between all aspects of my world.  To find balance between the needs of those I find myself charged with and my own personal needs.  To find balance between my obligations as a mother and my obligations as a wife.  There is a regular struggle to find a balance between doing what it is I need to do for my family and doing what it is I want to do to achieve dreams and personal goals.

My life is a teeter-totter and I am continuously struggling to prioritize in such a way, in all aspects of my world, to get that perfect even balance.

When I was a much younger woman, I figured by the time I had reached this stage in my life, I would be a pro at the balancing act.  I was of course naive enough to believe it all got easier as you went along.  
Now as the sun is setting on my 30’s, I often find myself completely out of balance and wondering what, if anything would balance actually achieve.  Is finding balance really a resolution to the constant chaos I feel my world is in?  Will balance bring me peace?  Will balance give me more time? Will balance bring with it a sense of completeness? 

Instinct tells me balance is important, that it will indeed bring me peace and give me more time and will allow me to enjoy a completeness about my life… but I can’t know that for certain.

I have no personal reference to draw from when it comes to finding balance.  I don’t know anyone who has got the whole balance act down.  
To me, balance in life is as elusive as Big Foot or the Lock nest Monster.  People talk about it, people spend their whole lives searching for it… but does anyone ever achieve it?  Sure, some claim too, but people also claim to have found Big Foot or seen the Lost City of Atlantis.

I have had glimpses of balance of course… moments where I was sure I had managed to put equal weight on each side of the teeter-totter… those moments unfortunately where just that – moments – never lasting long enough to gain any real experience from, and never encompassing all aspects of my life, just portions of my world I was sure I had gained some control of.

There is some hope that as I move into my 40’s, I will continue to gain knowledge and perspective and slowly even the scales, slowly place the right pieces on each side of the teeter-totter and discover the elusive balance I search for.  I would like balance in my life and I think my life would like having balance.

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