Sunday, January 11, 2015

Regret

I feel as though I've lived several lifetimes, all within this one life.  Each has had its own ups and downs, its own story lines, its own characters. Each one of these life times have taught me its own set of lessons, given me its own set of memories and its own unique experiences.
Each life time has also come with its own potential regrets.  I use the word potential because truth to told... 
I have no regrets.  Are there things to regret?  Yes, of course there... let me explain...

Each step I've taken, each choice I've made, each direction I've turned has led me to the place I am at today.  My life is not perfect, there is still plenty of work to be done... but I like who I have become so far and this in-progress journey has given me my children, my husband the flawed but powerful and beautiful relationship we have. 
The paths I have followed, the life times I have lived this far, they have taught me and molded me.  I know that I have not always made the right choices.  I have reacted to life in immature and irrational ways far too often.
I've walked the wrong paths.  I've denied myself choices that seemed selfish but could have been empowering.  I have lied to advance myself.  
There are far more things I could regret than I care to admit... but I chose not to harbor regret.  It is not that I don't feel bad about my poor behavior or amiss decisions.  
I have spent years working on finding forgiveness for myself and understanding that the past can't be changed, regret changes nothing.
Regret weighs on a heart.  Regret weighs on a soul.  
Regret leaves a person tethered to an unchangeable past.
I cannot change my past.  I don't have the ability to alter choices already made.  Regretting the choices made only keeps me in a past that was unhealthy and destructive and only breeds harm and despair.  
Regret is a prison to me, a constant reminder of failures and faults that con not be altered and I refuse to be a prisoner to things I cannot change.
So instead of regretting all there is to regret... I forgive and let go.  This is my choice, a choice I am confident and secure with, a choice that allows me to say I have no regrets... and know it is the truth.


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