30 Days of Thankful - Day Three

Really, I am not this much of a slacker... there have been forces working against me the last few days, but don't fret, I will be all caught up before you know it!!

November 3rd, 2014: Day 3

Today I am thankful for my mom!!

I have not always known how to be thankful for her.

Our relationship has never really been easy, even as a child there was a struggle present between the two of us.

I spent a lot of my time being resentful and hurtful towards my mom.  I spent years blaming her for every little thing wrong with my life, for every bad decision I made, every bump in the road.  Blaming my mom was easier than owning my own crap.  My anger toward her was so misguided, but I refused to see that, or understand that.

My mom and I spent 6 years not speaking to one another. I know my mom had her reasons and I had mine, for the silence... but that was a very difficult time in my life.  It was during this time that I learned how twisted my feelings toward my mom were.  How wrong I was to blame her for things she had no part of, of had no control over.  I grew up a lot in those 6 years we had no contact.  I learned things about myself, about parenting, about relationships and forgiveness.

My mom and I made peace several years back and having her in my life once again has been such a blessing.  We will never have a perfect relationship, it is just not in our stars... but we have a relationship, and I get now how lucky I am for that.

I am thankful we have managed to find a way to be in each other’s lives, to find mutual respect and genuine love for one another.

My mom is an amazing person to me.  I am in awe of what she has done, what she has overcome.  I look to her now for inspiration, for motivation and even guidance.   We are polar opposites in so many ways and yet so much alike in others.

I am thankful that I have this second change to know my mom, with all the complications and history that comes with her.  Our second chance is not lost on me.  I am so thankful I have her to wade through this part of my life with her as a guide and a supporter.  I missed her so much when we were estranged, it was heartbreaking to feel like I didn't have a mother.  So yes, today I am thankful for my mom!!